Poison Pairings
by BenRG
Summary: Jessie and James were never a conventional team exactly how unconventional they learnt during a resupply stop in Johto...
1. Teaser

**__**

PoKéMoN

Poison Pairings – A Team Rocket adventure with a hint of QueerShipping

By BenRG

****

Legal Disclaimer

Pokémon, the Pocket Monsters, their human friends and enemies are all the copyright and trademark properties of Nintendo Entertainment, Game Freak Software, Creatures Inc., and 4Kids Productions. No violation of any legal property intended. 

This is a non-profit work for free distribution through the Worldwide Web.

****

Author's Notes

There is no great inspiration for this story. It is the result of a debate on the Serebii.net Forums about whether or not Team Rocket are strong Pokémon Trainers and what (if anything) would improve their performance. This debate, and the plot of the Season 2 episode 'Wherefore Art Thou, Pokémon?' inspired this good-natured little tale.

This story is set about two-thirds of the way through Ash's Johto League journey, long after 'Forest Grumps' and shortly after 'The Heartbreak of Brock'.

QueerShipping is the belief that, if Jessie and James were ever to have a romantic relationship, Jessie would be the one wearing the pants.

****

Censor: PG – for some adult concepts and a little innuendo about unconventional relationships 

Ages: Ash is 13; Misty is 14½; Brock is 18; Jessie and James are both 26.

****

Teaser

High over the wooded foothills of the Mount Silver range, an unusual aircraft soared through the thermals. It was a fairly typical-looking hot air balloon apart from one thing. Its' envelope was in the style of a huge Meowth's head. Those who knew this distinctive aircraft knew it to be the personal air transport of three members of the criminal organisation Team Rocket. 

Inside the basket (which was bigger than it initially looked), the three members of this particular Team Rocket field unit were engaged in their various tasks. James Morgan was manning the balloon's controls. Jessie Scarlet had just finished feeding their Pokémon and their most unusual member, a talking Meowth (a feline-like normal-type Pokémon), was taking an inventory of their equipment and stores. Jessie, James and Meowth were professional Pokémon thieves, ne'er-do-wells and frustrated villains. They would love to be wicked criminals, feared and hated by all. Unfortunately, they were simply too inept at criminal endeavours and too essentially good-hearted to ever be too much of a success. It had reached the point where their boss, the feared Giovanni diRocketti, had taken away their official status as members of Team Rocket until they succeeded in some criminal activity that would profit his organisation.

Based on past performance, it might be some time before they regained their boss' favour.

"Meowth! Hey, guys, we're getting' real low on food again!" Meowth reported in his distinctive Brooklyn accent.

There was a brief, silent dialogue between the three would-be villains. "We only stocked up two weeks ago!" Jessie finally snapped out in a precise, upper-class tone of voice. "Who has been eating more than their share?"

"Don't look at me, Jessie," James replied in his mournful, nasal tone of voice. "I never eat when you're not there." Jessie shot her partner an odd look. It _was_ a strange thing to say, but she was willing to let it slide for now.

"Meowth's not eating more than his rations," Meowth added. "Maybe it's on o' da other Pokémon!"

"Meowth! How dare you accuse them!" Jessie scolded.

"Yes, they aren't even out of their Pokéballs to defend themselves!" James agreed.

At that point, one of Jessie's two Pokéballs suddenly snapped open and a flash of white light vomited out. The light resolved itself into a familiar blue-grey gumdrop-shaped Pokémon. "Wah-buff-eeet!" Wobbuffet said. He was holding a Pokémon meal bar and chewing on it nonchalantly.

Jessie snatched the bar out of her eccentric Pokémon's hand and raised Wobbuffet's Pokéball, thumbing the 'recall' button. "I should have known that if anything went wrong, you'd be involved," she muttered, looking as if she was getting a particularly unpleasant headache. 

Wobbuffet flared into red light and was sucked back into his ball. "Waaah!" he said as he vanished.

"Whoever's fault it is, we gotta get some more chow!" Meowth declared.

James, who was sitting on a high seat to reach the balloon's burner controls, immediately spotted something. "There's a town just a little to the east," he said.

"Well why are we wasting time talking, then?" Jessie asked. "Set a course, James!" 

"Aye-aye, Captain," James said with a mock salute. He pulled the lever for the cold air blower, reducing the amount of lifting power in the balloon so it sunk into an air stream that would carry it towards the town or village, whatever it was. Look out, little berg, for Team Rocket was on its' way!

__

To be continued…


	2. Act 1

**__**

PoKéMoN

Poison Pairings – A Team Rocket adventure with a hint of QueerShipping

By BenRG

****

Legal Disclaimer

Pokémon, the Pocket Monsters, their human friends and enemies are all the copyright and trademark properties of Nintendo Entertainment, Game Freak Software, Creatures Inc., and 4Kids Productions. No violation of any legal property intended. 

This is a non-profit work for free distribution through the Worldwide Web.

****

Author's Notes

There is no great inspiration for this story. It is the result of a debate on the Serebii.net Forums about whether or not Team Rocket are strong Pokémon Trainers and what (if anything) would improve their performance. This debate, and the plot of the Season 2 episode 'Wherefore Art Thou, Pokémon?' inspired this good-natured little tale.

This story is set about two-thirds of the way through Ash's Johto League journey, long after 'Forest Grumps' and shortly after 'The Heartbreak of Brock'.

QueerShipping is the belief that, if Jessie and James were ever to have a romantic relationship, Jessie would be the one wearing the pants.

****

Censor: PG – for some adult concepts and a little innuendo about unconventional relationships 

Ages: Ash is 13; Misty is 14½; Brock is 18; Jessie and James are both 26.

****

Act 1

Team Rocket had landed their hot-air balloon outside the village. As their objective was re-supply rather than mayhem, they judged that their usual dramatic entrance would be counter-productive. Both humans and their Pokémon friend agreed that the village (a small town really) was a fairly normal place for this region of Johto. Most of the buildings were single-storey with wooden doors and roofs. 

As they made their way through the village, however, something very odd kept cropping up. There were a lot of Nidorans, Nidorinos, Nidorinas, Nidokings and Nidoqueens in the village. "Dere are loads of poison-types around," Meowth commented, unnecessarily. Jessie and James had both noticed. "Maybe we should steal some of dem for da Boss!"

"Maybe we should wait until we've got our new supplies," Jessie suggested, kicking the cat-like Pokémon without breaking stride.

"Hey, can you blame Meowth for thinking ahead?" Meowth complained.

"Nidorans are dirt common," Jessie said snootily. "Why should we waste time with them?" 

"Because we haven't stolen anything in months," James replied with his usual guileless honestly. This earned him a paper fan over the ear for his troubles. "Ouch! I'm sorry, Jess! Whatever it is that I've done!"

"Just be quiet, you idiot," Jessie sighed. In her head, however, she was admitting, ruefully, that James was right. It had been too long since they had successfully stolen _any_ Pokémon for their boss. After that debacle in the Whirl Islands when they ended up rescuing the twerps, they needed to find something, _anything_, to regain his favour. That was the real reason that she got mad at James (no matter how bad it made her feel – hitting James was like beating a puppy or kitten). He was _right_ and that infuriated her. Jessie sighed again. She didn't expect her life to turn out this way. It was supposed to be glamour and fame! Or at least doing something that _mattered_. Instead, she was wasting her life chasing a _twerp_ and his pathetic electric mouse. The whole thing would be hilarious if it wasn't so _pathetic_. 

Jessie turned around and saw James' usual mournful expression. "Get over it, James," she sighed. "Let's get into town and get the supplies we need." James visibly perked up at the possibility of 'food'.

James watched as Jessie turned and left. She was, of course, a fine example of womanhood, despite her nightmare-inducing resemblance to his sociopathic fiancée, Jessiebelle. Of course, James wasn't really interested in girls, as a rule. However, the problem was that he felt so _comfortable_ around her. They had shared each other's fears, hopes and vulnerabilities to a degree that they had never with anyone else. They were emotionally intimate.

James shook his head. This wasn't the time to be thinking about these things. They still had to think of a way to get back into The Boss' favour. He should concentrate on that problem. His eyebrows raised in appreciation at the sight of a flower arrangement in someone's garden. Of course, there was nothing to stop him from appreciating the finer things in life.

~*~*~*~

"And two boxes of Pokémeal bars," Jessie added. She was in the town market, buying new supplies. As always, they had pooled all their limited financial resources in an attempt to get better quality foods. As always, it still wasn't enough. Jessie knew that, right now, James and Meowth would be working the crowds, taking whatever they could. At least, she thought unhappily, that was the plan. Whether her two colleagues were up to the task was another question altogether.

Jessie took the boxes of Pokémon food from the vendor and put them in one of her two carrier bags. She looked around the market, wondering where James and Meowth were. There had been a singular lack of uproar, making her wonder if they were all right. Finally, unable to take the uncertainty, she pulled a Pokéball off of her belt and released her starter, Arbok. The huge, purple cobra-like poison-type Pokémon materialised. "Arbok, dear," Jessie said. "Could you find James and Meowth for me?"

"Chaaarrr-bok-ah!" Arbok replied. The big Pokémon raised her head and tasted the air, her forked tongue flicking in and out as she sought the familiar scent of her Trainer's allies. Finally, the Pokémon pointed her diamond-shaped head towards the town square. Jessie set off, still wondering about the lack of uproar.

Much to her dismay, James was not engaged in any kind of criminal endeavour. He was standing at a stall, haggling with the man standing behind the counter. Whatever it was he was after, it was clearly important to him. Jessie couldn't remember the last time she saw such desperate avarice on her partner's face. Jessie's scowled. "What are you up to, you idiot?" she snapped. 

James nearly jumped out of his skin. "Jessie! He has a 2030 Electabuzz Championship collectable cap! They made less than 3,000 of them!"

Jessie sighed and started counting in her head in a desperate desire not to lose her temper. "You were meant to be getting more money, you useless lump! Not finding new ways to spend it!"

"But Jessie! I've been looking for one of these all my life! I might never…" Jessie cut off James' pleas by grabbing him by the ear and towing him away from the stall. Then she saw something that only made her feel worse. Meowth was sitting on the edge of the fountain in the centre of the town square, eating an apple and looking generally nonchalant. "And why aren't you doing anything you useless cat?" Jessie growled.

"Meowth! I'm waitin' for Jimmy-boy to finish gettin' his bottle-caps so we can get started!" Meowth replied smugly. He finished the apple and carelessly threw the core over his shoulder.

Jessie's blood began to boil. "You mean, while I've been shopping for the last two hours, you two have done _absolutely _NOTHING?" she screeched. James and Meowth hugged each other in terror as Mount Jessie erupted with the loudest scream of fury that they had ever heard. After a few moments, she ran out of steam and collapsed onto the edge of the fountain. "Why do I bother?" she groaned.

James and Meowth looked at each other, surprised to still be in one piece. Obviously, Jessie was very tired, or she would have Arbok chasing them through the streets. "Er… I'm… I'm sorry, Jess," James said at last, looking and sounding like the very little boy that he still was, emotionally speaking. "I suppose that I lost track of time at the Collectors' Fair." 

"Hey!" Meowth suddenly said. "Meowth's got an idea! Jimmy-boy! You said dat some of dis junk is real valuable, right?" James nodded. "Den we should steal some o' it. Maybe we can sell it on. At da very least, it would give us sometin' ta barter with!"

James looked excited for a few moments before he saw how tired Jessie looked. "Don't bother," she sighed. "We will mess this up too, even if you two imbeciles managed to come up with a decent plan."

James sat down next to his partner, feeling an unaccustomed worry for her. Jessie was usually the confident one who pushed them on with her belief, but today she just seemed tired. "Jessie?" he asked, a wealth of questions in his voice. 

Jessie spent a few moments looking at her boots. Self-expression didn't come easy to her, and admitting a weakness was unheard of. However, when she finally looked up into James' concerned green eyes, she felt her hesitation vanish. If there was anyone she could confide in, it was James. He was the closest person to her in the whole world. Even if he _was_ an idiot, he was also a good person, at heart. "It is… It was those Twerps," Jessie said at last. "When we got separated in those blasted Ursaring-infested woods." James nodded. He and Meowth had spent quality time with The Scrawny Brat during that misadventure and she hadn't made the experience a pleasant one. "The Little Twerp is so… so powerful as a Trainer. He has a strong, powerful team and he is making real progress while we are stuck in a rut. We are pathetic, James. We are nothings."

"Jessie, that isn't true," James protested.

"Yeah!" Meowth added. "We're Team Rocket!"

"We're not even that anymore!" Jessie snapped. She sighed and leant back looking at the sky. "We can't even make a success out of being thieves!"

James moved closer to Jessie and put his hand on her shoulder. "Jessie, whatever happens, I know that you will be able to turn things around," he said. "You are the strong, one, remember?"

Jessie looked at James and managed a single, rueful laugh. "Yeah," she said at last. She looked at James attempted reassuring expression and had to hold in hilarity.

~*~*~*~

The three friends sat in silence for a while before James looked away from Jessie. He hated it when his strong friend got so despondent. He wished that he knew how he could make her feel better. He saw a young couple walk past and noticed that the boy had a male Nidoran perched on his shoulder, and his girlfriend had a female Nidoran. "Young love! How romantic!" James sighed, distracted from his previous train of though.

"Oh please!" Jessie snorted cynically. She paused and looked at the two passers-by herself. "Have you noticed that every couple that we have seen in this town have Nidorans, or their evolved forms?" she asked at last. James nodded. "I wonder why?" she continued.

"I see that you have noticed our town's special feature," a voice said from behind them. 

Jessie jumped to her feet in surprise, James jumped into her arms and Meowth jumped into the air and ended up hanging to the back of Jessie's head. "What…? Who…?" Jessie spluttered. "_Get off me_!" James and Meowth didn't need to be told twice. Man and Pokémon made a heap at the redhead's feet. Jessie looked at the man, noting with some nervousness the size and strength of the Nidoking standing behind him. "Who are you?" she snapped.

"I overheard you talking about all the Nidorans around," the man, a middle-aged man with white hair and shockingly electric-blue eyes. "We breed them here in Nido Town, you know. My name is Michael. I run the breeding centre."

"Really?" Jessie asked as her colleagues staggered to their feet. "Pleased to meet you," the three said in unison, bowing slightly.

"Maybe we can help you," Michael said. "Come with me." With that, he walked off.

"What is he talking about, Jessie?" James asked in a scared tone of voice.

"Meowth! Dere's only one way to find out!" Meowth said, and walked off after the man and his Nidoking. After a few moments looking at each other in surprise, the two humans raced off after them.

__

To be continued…


	3. Act 2

**__**

PoKéMoN

Poison Pairings – A Team Rocket adventure with a hint of QueerShipping

By BenRG

****

Legal Disclaimer

Pokémon, the Pocket Monsters, their human friends and enemies are all the copyright and trademark properties of Nintendo Entertainment, Game Freak Software, Creatures Inc., and 4Kids Productions. No violation of any legal property intended. 

This is a non-profit work for free distribution through the Worldwide Web.

****

Author's Notes

There is no great inspiration for this story. It is the result of a debate on the Serebii.net Forums about whether or not Team Rocket are strong Pokémon Trainers and what (if anything) would improve their performance. This debate, and the plot of the Season 2 episode 'Wherefore Art Thou, Pokémon?' inspired this good-natured little tale.

This story is set about two-thirds of the way through Ash's Johto League journey, long after 'Forest Grumps' and shortly after 'The Heartbreak of Brock'.

QueerShipping is the belief that, if Jessie and James were ever to have a romantic relationship, Jessie would be the one wearing the pants.

****

Censor: PG – for some adult concepts and a little innuendo about unconventional relationships 

Ages: Ash is 13; Misty is 14½; Brock is 18; Jessie and James are both 26.

****

Act 2

Jessie, James and Meowth stood in the middle of the pen looking around them in amazement. "I have _never_ seen so many Nidorans in my life!" James squeaked. There were dozens of the purple and powder blue rabbit-like poison-type Pokémon running around them. As always, the male/female pairs were looking at each other in a love-struck way that plucked at the sensitive James' heartstrings. "Aren't they _cute_, Jessie?" he squealed.

"Pull yourself together," Jessie scolded. "You're an embarrassment to the uniform!"

Michael, still accompanied by his Nidoking, walked over. "So, what do you think?" he asked.

"Well, it is an efficient little operation, that is for certain," Jessie said at last. "You implied that there was some kind of secret to this though?"

"Well, not a 'secret', really," Michael said. "But these Nidoran _are_ special. Unlike most of their kind, they are lightly psychic."

"Really?" Jessie asked. She shot James a significant look and noted the sly look he shot at her through the front fringe of his floppy lavender hair. The two of them smiled dangerously. Once again, they were thinking in unison. Unusual Pokémon meant something to steal for the Boss. Maybe even a way back into favour with him!

"Yes," Michael said. "My ancestors were amongst the first settlers in Johto, three centuries ago. The two of them were fairly isolated out here, and life was difficult. Eventually the strain of scratching a living from the land started affecting their marriage. Eventually, it reached a breaking point and they seriously spoke about breaking up and returning to their original homes."

Jessie, James and Meowth were spellbound. Michael had obviously told this tale before. He was so good that they could almost see the man toiling in the sun and the arguments with his wife. "What happened?" James gasped reverently. Jessie kicked him in the ankle in a long-established warning to be silent.

"Well, at the beginning of the last day, they found two Nidorans, one male and one female, injured at the edge of one of their fields. They took the Pokémon in and decided to heal them. Anyway, it was the start of the rainy season, and pretty soon it was essentially impossible to get out of the valley that our town is now built in. There was too much water on the steep slopes. Having no other choice, they worked together, first to heal the Nidorans, and then to train them to help them survive. 

"But a strange thing happened. The Nidorans were obviously a mated pair, and as my ancestors worked with them, they started to feel the bond in between their Pokémon. Because the Pokémon spent all their time together, so their Trainers had to also. Eventually, they realised that their Pokémon were deliberately trying to keep them together so that they would be happy. They realised that they still loved each other and promised to stay together, forever, in their new home. And when they kissed, the two Nidorans evolved into a Nidorino and a Nidorina." Michael smiled. "So they stayed here and bred Nidoran. In time, people heard of the special powers of the Nidorans of Nido Valley and came from all over to get the blessing of these special Pokémon on their relationships."

Jessie blinked and came back reluctantly to 'here-and-now'. Much to her disgust, James was sniffling and wiping his eyes with his lace-edged handkerchief. "That was such a lovely romantic tale," James sobbed. "I love a happy ending."

"Don't be pathetic," Jessie hissed. She turned back to Michael. "What do you mean by the 'blessing'?" she asked.

Michael grinned. "These are very special Pokémon, Miss," he said. "They only come in male/female pairs, and they _only_ accept as Trainers a man and a woman with a close emotional bond. They will bond with them and help them find happiness together."

Jessie nodded in a stunned way. It sounded like a fairy tale! "Meowth! Sort'a a Pokémon dating agency!" Meowth said smugly. 

Michael laughed. "Sort of," he agreed.

Suddenly, Jessie noticed something. One of the purple male Nidorans was sitting at her feet and staring at her significantly. "What are you looking at?" she asked the Pokémon in a nervous tone of voice. 

"Nido!" the Nidoran replied.

"She's cute," Jessie heard James say. "Jessie, can I _please_ keep her?" 

Jessie turned around to face her partner, who was holding one of the powder blue female Nidoran. "James!" she scolded. "Put that Pokémon down! You don't know where it has been!"

"But Jessie," James whined. "She likes me! She jumped into my arms!"

Jessie was stunned by that revelation. Wild Pokémon, and even those in breeding centres such as this one, rarely approached a human in this manner. "Nido!" said the Pokémon at her feet, and butted her ankle.

"Ow! Stop that you little beast!" she snapped. She knelt down and tried to get eye-to-eye with the little Pokémon to better scold it. Much to her surprise, it nuzzled her pointed finger and climbed up her arm and balanced on her shoulder. 

"Nido!" The Nidoran cooed. "Nido-oh-ran!" Against her will, Jessie found herself stroking the Pokémon's rough, woollen coat. A rare genuine smile touched her lips. 

"See! You can have one too!" James said, sounding like a kid in a toy store at the after-Christmas sales. Jessie tried to scowl, but ended up laughing instead. She loved it when James got so excited and bubbly. It reminded her that there _were_ still good things in life

"Now that is odd..." Michael said, looking at the two Rockets in some disbelief.

Before he could complete his thought, a voice cried out from somewhere behind them. "Team Rocket!"

Jessie winced and turned around to see who had just spoken. Of course, she already knew what she would see. A boy, a girl and a young man stood at the other end of the enclosure. The boy had untidy black hair, topped with a red-and-white Pokémon League cap, chocolate brown eyes and wore a blue-and-white sports jacked over a black tee shirt. A Pikachu sat on his shoulder. The girl had shocking ginger-red hair in a weird sideways ponytail-like style and cerulean blue eyes. She wore a yellow tank top and jeans cut off at the thighs held up by red braces. She was clutching an egg-like Togepi to her breast. The man wore an orange tee shirt and a green body-warmer. He had spiky black hair and narrow oriental eyes. 

"Oh no, not you again!" James and Jessie chorused simultaneously.

Ash Ketchum, Misty Waterflower and Brock Slate stared at their long-term nemeses distrustfully. Whenever Team Rocket turned up, trouble was not far behind. Finally, Ash stepped forwards. "I don't know what you losers want here," he growled, "but you won't get away with it! Drop those Nidoran _right now_!"

"Hey! Wait a minute!" James whined, an edge of panic in his voice.

"Don't say I didn't give you a chance!" Ash said, a dangerous glint in his eyes. "Pikachu!" Ash's yellow-and-black electric mouse jumped from his shoulder.

The girl, Misty Waterflower, pulled a Pokéball out of her shoulder bag and held it up. "Help them out, Politoed!" she cried.

Meowth, surprising himself with his courage, jumped in between the Twerps and his human friends. "Meowth! Hey cut it out!" she shrieked. "We ain't done nottin' yet!"

"Stop this right now!" Michael roared, stepping forwards. His Nidoking growled in agreement and lumbered forwards to glare at Ash and Pikachu dangerously. Pikachu shifted nervously. He was strong, but a large ground-type was a little more of a challenge than he felt comfortable with. "What is the meaning of this?" Michael continued. "This is a breeding centre, not a fighting arena!"

"These two people and that Meowth are thieves!" Misty, the more outspoken of the group, said. She pointed at Jessie and James. "Whatever they are doing, you can be sure that it is a bad thing!"

"Whether that is true or not, I don't know!" Michael said. "All I do know is that they haven't done anything wrong while you three were about to assault them for no reason! What do you have to say for yourselves?" The breeder placed his hands on his hips. "They have conducted themselves like civilised people while you have rushed in to condemn without evidence! You were ready to start a fight that could hurt these young Pokémon! You should be ashamed!"

There was a long pause. "I guess… we should have waited," Ash admitted at last. "I'm sorry." Misty muttered something that could be construed as an apology before putting away Politoed's Pokéball. 

"That's better," Michael said, then turned to Jessie and James. "Now, sir, madam, if you will come with me, we will deal with the formalities for you to adopt these two Pokémon."

"Thank you, sir," Jessie said, sounding very reasonable. As Michael turned away, she, James and Meowth turned to the Twerps, pulled down their right lower eyelids and stuck their tongues out at them. Ash growled impotently and clenched his fists. Misty put a calming hand on her best friend's shoulder, although she wanted to pull out a Pokémon and wash those three dirty thieves away with a Water Gun attack or two.

~*~*~*~

"So these Pokémon are attracted to couples?" Brock asked Michael, sounding fascinated. "They actually bond with them and help them grow together as a couple?" Michael nodded. "Wow! I've never heard the like of anything like this!" Brock turned to where Ash and Misty were kneeling. They were playing with a good dozen Nidoran of both genders that had surrounded them. "Maybe you two should get one of these Pokémon each," he said, sounding teasing. "That would settle the question once and for all."

Misty and Ash both blushed brightly. They were still very young, after all. Talk of 'relationships' always made them feel uncomfortable. "Brock…" Ash protested.

"Brock, there is nothing for them to 'help'," Misty said, trying to sound angry, but looking down in a shy way. Brock knew better than that, of course. She had admitted it to him not a week before this.

Michael laughed. "The Nidoran only get involved when there is a hidden love to be revealed," he said. "In this case, I don't think that anyone really doubts the feelings of the principles of this little drama." Ash and Misty blushed even more brightly than before and looked at each other in a stricken way before looking away. Pikachu nearly fell form Ash's shoulder because he was laughing so hard.

Suddenly a shadow fell over the two young trainers. A tall man with brown hair and dangerous amber-coloured eyes dressed in a khaki shirt and jeans stood over them. He sneered at the two youngsters before looking at Michael. There were three other men, heavily built and looking very dangerous, standing behind him. "So, Michael," the lead man said. "Have you decided yet?"

Michael suddenly looked angry. "There is nothing to decide, Robert," he snapped. "This breeding centre has been in my family for generations, and I am not going to sell it, no matter what threats you make."

Ash stood up. Although dwarfed by the man (Robert?), there was a certain power about the boy that made him seem a lot larger and more dangerous than he actually was. "Who is this joker?" he asked.

"This, Ash," Michael said, "is Robert, the owner of a ground-type breeding centre in Sand City in the next valley. He seems to think that he can run this breeding centre better than I can." 

"I don't 'think' anything, Michael," Robert said, the jovial tone of his voice not matching the dangerous glint in his eyes. "I _know_. You and your pitiful talk about 'bonding' have virtually bankrupted this breeding centre. You should sell to any paying customer, not just those who your stupid rabbits think are 'worthy'."

"If you don't have anything new to say, Robert, get off my land," Michael said, his hands clenched into fists.

Robert looked at the back of his left hand nonchalantly. "I had hoped to buy this place as a going concern," he said calmly. "But I am just as glad to buy it as an insurance write off." At a gesture, Robert's three companions released a Sandslash, a Rhydon and a Donphan. Robert himself released a Quagsire. Michael looked worried, and rightly so. Ground-types were highly resistant to poison-type attacks, and Robert's Quagsire had a big advantage against his Nidoking. "Boys, smash everything," he commanded.

"Oh no you don't, you big bullies!" Misty shouted, releasing her Politoed.

"Go Bayleef!" Ash cried, throwing a Pokéball. His grass-type materialised and immediately jumped at him, nearly knocking him off his feet with a playful Body Slam. "Bayleef! Heh! I know that you're glad to see me, but you've got to focus on the fight!"

"Don't hesitate, Quagsire!" Robert shouted. "Use Earthquake!" Quagsire jumped into the air and began to glow with a bright yellow light before coming down with a loud concussion. The massive omni-directional ground-type attack sent Michael, Ash and his friends sprawling. The breeding centre's buildings swayed dangerously and the young Nidorans fled in panic. 

"Use Dig, Sandslash!" one of the toughs shouted.

"Use Rollout, Donphan!"

"Rhydon! Use Horn Attack!"

Sandslash's Dig attack undermined one of the smaller buildings, making it collapse. Donphan flattened another with its' rollout and Rhydon charged right at a third. 

"Oh no you don't!" Ash shouted. "Use Razor Leaf on that Rhydon!" Bayleef span the leaf on her head and sent several razor-sharp leaves at the charging rock/ground-type. The grass-type attack slashed through the beast's silicate crystal armour and sent it sprawling with a cry of pain. 

"Use Water Gun on that Sandslash!" Misty called out. Politoed attacked as commanded and sent the ground-type flying. "Yeah!" Misty cried out in triumph.

Suddenly a new shadow fell over the two young Trainers. A Golem stood above them, its' huge hands wrapped around their necks. "Recall your Pokémon," Robert growled. "I'm not going to let you ruin this moment." Pikachu snarled at the Pokémon threatening his friend. Robert laughed. "Tut-tut, little Pikachu, you can't hurt a ground-type, you know!"

Ash swallowed as the two Pokémon that had been knocked over by their initial attacks staggered back to their feet. Brock looked furious, but didn't know what to do, and Michael was too horrified by the sudden turn of violence to react. Now what? At that moment a new voice rang across the battlefield…

__

To be continued…


	4. Act 3

**__**

PoKéMoN

Poison Pairings – A Team Rocket adventure with a hint of QueerShipping

By BenRG

****

Legal Disclaimer

Pokémon, the Pocket Monsters, their human friends and enemies are all the copyright and trademark properties of Nintendo Entertainment, Game Freak Software, Creatures Inc., and 4Kids Productions. No violation of any legal property intended. 

This is a non-profit work for free distribution through the Worldwide Web.

****

Author's Notes

There is no great inspiration for this story. It is the result of a debate on the Serebii.net Forums about whether or not Team Rocket are strong Pokémon Trainers and what (if anything) would improve their performance. This debate, and the plot of the Season 2 episode 'Wherefore Art Thou, Pokémon?' inspired this good-natured little tale.

This story is set about two-thirds of the way through Ash's Johto League journey, long after 'Forest Grumps' and shortly after 'The Heartbreak of Brock'.

QueerShipping is the belief that, if Jessie and James were ever to have a romantic relationship, Jessie would be the one wearing the pants.

****

Censor: PG – for some adult concepts and a little innuendo about unconventional relationships 

Ages: Ash is 13; Misty is 14½; Brock is 18; Jessie and James are both 26.

****

Act 3

"Maybe Pikachu _can't_ hurt your big rock-type!" A nasal voice rang out.

"But _we_ can!" An upper-class female voice added. "Prepare for trouble, because bullies are something that we hate!"

"And make it double because we almost arrived too late!"

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples of our nation!"

"To denounce the lies of truth and love,"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket, blasting off at the speed of light!" 

"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight!" Jessie and James were standing on top of the breeding centre's single-story administration building. James was sniffing at his long-stemmed rose while Jessie was fanning herself in an aristocratic way. Meowth jumped forwards, but before he could so much as say a word, Wobbuffet popped out of his Pokéball. "Waaah-buffet!" he cried out before Meowth jumped on his head, forcing him out of the way.

"Meowth! Dat's right!"

"Who are _you_?" Robert snarled.

"Just call us passers-by," Jessie said with a coquettish smile. "After these people were so nice to us, we thought that it was only right that we repay the favour."

"Besides," James said. "I hate bullies and I always have!"

"Meowth! Yeah!" Meowth added. "Only Team Rocket gets to push people around in dis country!"

In the sudden pause, Ash was able to catch Bayleef's eye and pointed significantly at the Golem. A few moments later, the spherical rock/ground-type was blown off its' feet by a hail of Razor Leaves. Ash grabbed Misty and dived for cover. "Use Vine Whip on the Rhydon!" Ash yelled.

"Politoed! Use Ice Punch on that Sandslash!

"Donphan, destroy that office! Rollout attack!" The Donphan rolled straight at the office where Team Rocket stood. 

Jessie smiled dangerously. "Wobbuffet, dear. Counter attack, if you would?"

"Waaah-baaah-feeet!" Wobbuffet replied with a salute. He jumped down in front of the charging Donphan and began to glow red-gold with power. Donphan struck with immense force and sent the psychic-type sprawling, but the Counter attack sent twice the impact power back at the ground-type, sending it soaring through the air. 

"Go Victreebell!" James cried, releasing his grass/poison-type. 

"BEEEEEELLL!" Victreebell screamed. Free of her Pokéball, she immediately demonstrated her love and affection for her Trainer by trying to eat his head. 

"Mmmfff! Not me, you stupid weed!" James protested, muffled somewhat by the grass-type's bell. "Use Razor Leaf on that Donphan!" Realising that this was not the time for demonstrations of love, Victreebell spat her Trainer out and unleashed a hail of razor leaves at the Donphan, which was just getting to its' feet. The ground-type bellowed in pain and staggered back for a few moments before charging towards its' tormentors. 

"Counter again, Wobbuffet," Jessie said with a sneer.

"Waaah!" Wobbuffet saluted again. The Donphan struck the psychic-type head-on, but came out the worst, thanks to Counter's dark magic. The massive ground-type struck the ground at the other end of the enclosure, already unconscious.

Jessie looked around at the melee, trying to judge the progress of the fight. 

Ash's Bayleef was fighting Robert's Quagsire, Misty's Politoed was fighting with the Rhydon, and Robert's Golem was facing off against Michael's Nidoking. As she watched, Quagsire used Slam to knock Bayleef onto her back. As the water/ground-type advanced to finish the matter with a Head-butt, the grass-type reached out with her vine whips and lashed them across her opponent's body. Quagsire staggered back and, at Ash's triumphant command, Bayleef finished the matter with a perfectly executed Body Slam. 

Jessie hissed in anger when she saw Golem knock Nidoking down with a Mega Punch. "James, we need to help Michael," she snapped.

"Do we _have_ to go down there?" James squeaked. Jessie didn't bother to reply. She slapped him over the back of the head with her fan and ran off towards Michael, who was backing against the wall as a triumphant Golem (with Robert walking behind it) strode towards him.

"Let's finish this, Golem," Robert said. "Make the Master Breeder a permanent fixture of this site. Body Slam him into the ground!"

"Victreebell! Stun Spore Attack!" James shouted. The golden dust wafted down over Golem's head, making him stagger. The big rock/ground-type smiled in a stupid way and began to sway on his feet. Robert, a vein swelling on his forehead, turned to face Jessie, James and Meowth.

"You! What is this to you anyway?" he snarled.

"Why bother to ask?" James sneered. "You won't be here long enough to find out!"

"We'll see! Use Mega Punch, Golem!" Golem shook his head and turned towards the Rockets with a roar of fury. 

"Counter attack," Jessie said with a broad smile as Wobbuffet stepped in between her and the attacking Pokémon. The counter blast sent the rock-type flying. It hit the ground unconscious. 

"You… you… you…" Robert was nearly crying with frustration. Jessie looked over her shoulder and saw that the Twerps had finished rounding up his associates and had them surrounded. She raised a Pokéball. "You did very well today, Wobbuffet! Well done!" She swapped balls and activated the other one. "Now, it is your turn Arbok!"

A large, fearful droplet of sweat appeared at the side of Robert's face as the large poison-type slithered towards him. "Er… maybe we can cut a deal," he suggested as he joined his three angry but fearful colleagues in a huddle in the centre of the enclosure.

"Yeah, why not?" Michael said. Robert gave him a funny look. The owner of the breeding centre smiled dangerously. "You leave us alone," Michael said, "and in exchange, we don't humiliate you like this ever again. Nidoking, use Hyper Beam attack!"

"NIDO!" Robert and his fellow bullies had just enough time to scream in panic before the Hyper Beam struck and sent them soaring away into the sky.

"Looks like they're blasting off today," Jessie said with a smirk. She turned to James, who was recalling Victreebell. "Nice work, by the way, James. You really have been doing wonders with that thing recently."

"Thank you, Jess," he said, looking down shyly.

Michael walked over to the two Rockets. "I don't know how to thank you two," he said. 

"I'm sure that you will think of something," James said, his smile suddenly slightly dangerous.

"Like maybe…" Jessie began and nodded to Meowth, who pulled out a remote control and pressed a big red button.

"Maybe youse can let us have _all _your Pokémon!" he laughed. Everyone looked up as the Team Rocket hot-air balloon soared overhead. A massive weighted net dropped down and caught all the young Nidoran, who had been huddling together in a group since the start of the fight. They even caught Michael's Nidoking.

"You can't do this!" Michael shouted.

"Actually we can," Jessie replied. "Nothing personal, you understand." She blew the man a kiss. Then she, James and Meowth jumped on a metal plank that had lowered from the bottom of the balloon. As soon as they were on, a powerful winch lifted the plank, with its' passengers, towards the balloon's basket.

"You won't get away with this!" Ash shouted. "Bayleef! Use Razor Leaf on that net!"

"Blast them off with your Water Gun, Politoed!" Misty added.

Jessie and James went for their newest Pokéballs. "Go Spike!" Jessie shouted, throwing her ball.

"Out you come, Bunny!" James added, throwing his. The two Nidorans, James' female and Jessie's male, materialised. "Use Scratch!" Bunny jumped forwards and sent Politoed staggering away with a powerful slashing attack with her sharp foreleg claws.

"Use Horn Attack, Spike!" Jessie commanded her Pokémon. The small purple-poison type charged Bayleef and sent her flying. "Now use Venom Bite!"

"Nido!" Spike cried, jumping forwards and biting Bayleef, injecting his poison directly into her. Grass-types are vulnerable to poison attacks, and after the strain of the previous fight, it was enough to make her faint.

"Oh no, Bayleef!" Ash recalled his friend to her Pokéball and turned to his first and best Pokémon, who was sitting on his shoulder. "Pikachu…" he began. At that point, Pikachu was plucked off of Ash's shoulder by a rubber hand at the end of a long telescoping pole held by Meowth, who had just scrambled into the basket.

Jessie was next into the basket, and she offered James her hand in a gentlewomanly gesture. James smiled his thanks, blushing slightly again, much to her amusement. "Okay, Bunny!" James called to his Nidoran. "Use Stink Spray!" The powder blue Nidoran turned around and sprayed something foul-smelling from glands either side of her anus. Ash, Misty, Brock and Michael staggered back, trying to breathe without inhaling the horrible stench. The smell was so bad that poor Politoed froze solid, unable to move or attack.

"We're winning! We're actually winning!" James cried excitedly, jumping up and down like a kid on Christmas day. Jessie rolled her eyes and nodded to Meowth, who took the balloon's controls. Auxiliary ducted fans folded out of the side of the bucket and added lifting power to the hot-air balloon as it rose away.

"Bye-bye, Twerps!" Jessie called out mockingly. "We'll give your love to the Boss!"

Misty's eyes were filled with tears from the horrible smell sprayed out by James' Nidoran. However, she could still work by touch. She recalled Politoed and released her Staryu. "Staryu! Use Rapid Spin on that net and metal arm!" she cried out.

"Star-yah!" Staryu cried out, whirling through the air like a giant, living Shuriken. The starfish Pokémon sliced through the net's cables _and_ the metal arm holding Pikachu. It was suddenly raining Nidoran, and the small Pokémon fled for cover in all directions. Ash ran forwards and caught Pikachu before his friend hit the ground. The sudden change in the balloon's load made it jerk backward and sent Jessie, James and Meowth flying across the basket with a cry of surprise.

After a few moments, the balloon stabilised and Jessie and James' faces appeared over the edge of the basket. "You'll pay for that Twerps!" Jessie shouted. "Use Horn Attack on that Pikachu, Spike!"

"Use Scratch on that Staryu, Bunny!" James commanded.

"Use Thunder Wave, Pikachu," Ash countered, releasing Pikachu from his arms so that the little electric-type could face Jessie's Nidoran.

"Use Harden, Staryu!" Misty added. Pikachu generated a rippling wave of electric power that washed over Spike, overloading his nervous system and freezing him in position. Staryu sparkled with power as Bunny charged. Although the Nidoran's attack struck home, the water-type's hardened carapace easily absorbed the punishment. "Now, use Water Gun!" Misty ordered. The pressurised water jet sent Bunny flying away from Staryu with a cry of pain.

"Use Thunderbolt, Pikachu!" Ash commanded. The electrical attack flashed around Spike, making him squeal in pain and fall over onto his side. "Give it up, Team Rocket," Ash commanded.

"Never!" Jessie shouted as the balloon dropped down lower above the injured but still-willing Nidorans. 

"Ash," Brock said quietly, "the reason that Robert and his friends brought ground-types…" 

"I know, Brock," Ash said, pulling out his newest Pokémon. With a smile he thumbed the 'release' touch-pad. "I choose you, Phanpy!"

The grey-and-blue dwarf elephant materialised right in front of the two perplexed Team Rocket Nidorans with a little trumpeting cry of 'Phaaan!"

"Uh oh," Jessie said, realising what was happening.

"Okay, Phanpy, use Rollout!" Ash commanded. Phanpy rolled up into a little wheel shape and rolled forwards. He struck first Spike, and then Bunny, knocking them both flying.

"Use Stink Spray!" James cried out. Bunny obeyed, but the attack had no real effect on Phanpy. 

"Use Rollout again!" Ash commanded. Simultaneously, Brock released his Onix and ordered an immediate Dig attack. Combined together, the two ground-type attacks sent the TR Nidorans flying into the air and back into the basket of the TR balloon. 

Jessie and James reached for alternate Pokémon. Wobbuffet broke out of his Pokéball just as Jessie touched Arbok's Pokéball. "Waaah-baaah!" he cried out.

"Oh no…" James said, tensing all over and not bothering to touch Weezing's Pokéball.

"Pikachu, use Thunderbolt attack!"

"Pika… CHUUU!" Pikachu cried out, releasing a powerful electric attack. The electrical discharge flared around the three would-be villains and their Pokémon. The gas tanks for the balloon's propane burner exploded and they were all launched into the sky.

"Looks like Team Rocket is blasting off agaaaiiinnnn!"

"Waaah-baaaaaaaaahhh!" There was a glint of light against a metal uniform fitting, and then they were gone.

__

To be concluded…


	5. Epilogue

**__**

PoKéMoN

Poison Pairings – A Team Rocket adventure with a hint of QueerShipping

By BenRG

****

Legal Disclaimer

Pokémon, the Pocket Monsters, their human friends and enemies are all the copyright and trademark properties of Nintendo Entertainment, Game Freak Software, Creatures Inc., and 4Kids Productions. No violation of any legal property intended. 

This is a non-profit work for free distribution through the Worldwide Web.

****

Author's Notes

There is no great inspiration for this story. It is the result of a debate on the Serebii.net Forums about whether or not Team Rocket are strong Pokémon Trainers and what (if anything) would improve their performance. This debate, and the plot of the Season 2 episode 'Wherefore Art Thou, Pokémon?' inspired this good-natured little tale.

This story is set about two-thirds of the way through Ash's Johto League journey, long after 'Forest Grumps' and shortly after 'The Heartbreak of Brock'.

QueerShipping is the belief that, if Jessie and James were ever to have a romantic relationship, Jessie would be the one wearing the pants.

****

Censor: PG – for some adult concepts and a little innuendo about unconventional relationships 

Ages: Ash is 13; Misty is 14½; Brock is 18; Jessie and James are both 26.

****

Epilogue

The clean-up was well advanced and Ash, Misty and Brock were ready to go their way again, on the road to the Johto League. "I'm sorry that they got away with those two Nidoran, sir," Ash said to Michael. 

"Don't be, Ash," the master breeder replied. "Those two Pokémon were _meant_ for them, I know it." The man grinned at the boy and his pretty tomboy travelling companion. "Maybe, after the League, you can come back and we might be able to find Nidoran that are right for _you_." Ash and Misty looked at each other, blushed brightly and looked the other way.

"As if," Misty murmured, looking too pleased to be angry.

"There is one thing I don't understand about this whole thing, though," Michael said. "The Nidoran _always_ match genders with their Trainers when they bond." Brock looked at the man thoughtfully as he elaborated. "Male Nidoran always go with men and female Nidoran with women. Yet Jessie got a male and James a female… I just don't get it."

Brock grinned as he thought back on all the times his friends and he had interacted with the two Rockets, both as friend and as adversary. He thought of how strangely imposing, dominant and almost _male_ that Jessie was, and how yielding and almost _feminine _that James could be. "Well, I wouldn't worry about it if I were you," he replied. "I think the Nidoran got it just right."

~*~*~*~

Out in the forest somewhere, Jessie and James were getting themselves back together after yet another blasting off. "You shouldn't lose heart," Jessie was lecturing Spike. "If you want to be part of Team Rocket, you just have to keep bouncing back! We'll beat the Twerps one day, you'll see!"

"Nido!" Spike replied. He turned and walked over to Bunny, who was sitting in front of James as the lavender-haired man fed her a Potion. Jessie watched as the male Nidoran nuzzled his mate's cheek and the two started looking at each other in adoration. A smile touched her lips as she watched the way that James cared for his Pokémon. Despite everything, despite the silly gaffes and the fouled-up plans, she still found James a fascinating person. Could he be the one who would heal her? Would she heal him at the same time?

She walked over and touched James on the shoulder. James covered her hand with his own. "We'd better find where the balloon crashed," she said.

"Lead on, Jessie," James said, feeling once again the appreciation that he always felt for Jessie's indomitable strength. Spike and Bunny exchanged a significant glance before their new Trainers recalled them to their Pokéballs and, with Meowth in tow, set off once again in pursuit of the Twerps and in pursuit of glory in the service of Team Rocket.

****

The End


End file.
